1- Backed into a large brick column in my own driveway
2-Rewashed gawd knows how many loads of laundry b/c I can't remember there in there...2 days later HOLY sour
3- Threatened a tween age boy within an inch of his life if he didn't pipe down during my babymoon fancy dinner with Michael in Atlanta
4-Obsessed, yelled, laughed, and cried (sometimes at the same time) by some of the unbelievable and terrifying things that have fallen out of Michael's mouth (ex. Why would we need a changing table for more than 3 months? Won't he be done with that by then?)
And then Monday came.....
I hit the ground running ready to attack the day. While in the shower I decide, yes my husband should get some damnit. Apparently there's a rumor going around that ALL husbands/baby daddies of pregnant woman are told there woman will get horny in the 2nd trimester. BULLSHIT! But that's neither here nor there..back to the shower. Since I'm hell bent on keeping my husband around throughout the pregnancy all I have to offer at this point is the s-e-x ---certainly not the funny quirky gal he fell in love with! First things first, get my vajayjay in order. Razor - check, shave gel - check, vajayjay---no check. WTF!?! She's gone. She's gone. I can't see her! I CAN'T see her! It's bad enough she changed color and I thought I had vajayjay cancer(coast is clear on that) but now she's disappeared entirely underneath my stomach. RIDICULOUS! I had to lean over to find her and to my horror have to admit she has been incredibly neglected. I guess I was busy waxing the newest (visible) hair patches to sprout around my body. 30 minutes later she's lookin as best as can be expected and I'm out and ready to attack the day.
Getting ready to run out the door to a listing appointment Michael casually mentions that maybe later on we can go look at strollers and make a decision. Frickin' strollers! 6 different types and that's not even mentioning the brands, price range, safety, useability. So, no I am not excited about going out AGAIN to narrow down a stroller selection. Normal Lexapro me would write say something like "sure, honey this week we can make that happen!" But crazy, rageaholic me leaves the house in a frazzled rage. Hop in the car running late reverse out the driveway and BAM--METAL. I drive smack into the side of Michael's car.
Why he doesn't go Ike Turner on me at this point is BEYOND me?! Maybe this process is teaching him patience or maybe he's secretly moving out of the house one item at a time. Either way I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm also fairly sure I didn't get the listing as I marched up in there mascara smeared down my face, sweating buckets and CLEARLY frazzled.
Rest of the day pretty much a wash as I'm just exhausted....
Oh yeah, went to the grocery store gonna make some salmon and rice and salad..mmmmmm
Check out, get to car and realize I have bought everything EXCEPT the flippin' salmon.
And yes to answer the burning question on your mind, he got some.
Gotta go, there's gray hairs to be plucked from my head, black hairs to be waxed from my belly and let's not even think about the beard/new pimples that have no doubt blossomed throughout the day!
