wow the 12th week is just as long and draaaaawn out as the others

Let's get something straight just because you get to wear a white coat doesn't make a you a doctor. In fact, if you'll take a minute to stop arguing with me about the existence of Listeria and look down you'll notice the word Publix monogrammed there. No you aren't Dr. Publix, you work in the deli. When I politely ask you to warm the deli meat for me why does a 30 minute speech ensue. NEVER mind that I'm clearly in a hurry. I guess it wasn't a dead giveaway that I come to you EVERY Sunday at 2:30 balloons, brownies and Signature Properties nametag on but I'm trying to get to an open house. The only thing I'd like is a 6 inch sub on whole wheat. I don't need to know that you "Ain't never heard of that Leestarie and I been workin' here almost 6 months". Truth be told you're barely legal and the only thing medically you're worried about is if the Proactiv is going to kick in soon. Needless to say I am then forced to explain (as a group of impatient beach goers grows around me) that I'm pregnant and that in EVERY freakin' book I've read I just simply need to ask you to warm up the FRICKIN' meat. Not in a single one of those dang books did it mention anything about this debate. In fact, after you finish your diatribe about who knows what, because truth be told I haven't heard a word you said (fixated on that pimple square in the middle of your chin that I'm dying to pop), you move over and I see a toaster RIGHT behind you. Thank you for obliging me. I was only 15 minutes late to my open house (that looks SUPER professional) and only had 2 balloons pop while standing there absently nodding my head at you.

FAT COW FAT COW and spontaneous crying..frickin' GREAT!

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and my stomach is HUGE. Everybody's like "it doesn't look as big as you think". To that I politely say BS! BS BS BS!!!! My stomach is bloated, swollen, gross. I know it's huge because I can see it when I look down and keep in mind my 40 pounds per boob are in between my eyes and my redneck stomach.

Next up, touching the stomach. So apparently it's going to happen. I would like to reinstate a quota. One touch and one touch only. So, if you've already touched, rubbed, or talked to my stomach you're done. You know who you are and I don't think you need/want me to name names (mom, Jessica, McCall....who am I missing?!). Plus when you lean down and talk to my stomach it looks like you're talking to my va jay jay and that's even weird.

Oh great a diet pill commercial just came on...and now I'm crying. This is ridamndiculous!

How/why has that crazy Duggar psycho done this like 30 times. INSANE!

To those who still keep mentioning twins. I love all of you and know somewhere deep, deep, DEEP down inside you mean well and are only joking BUT My vagina doesn't think you're funny and wouldn't me to pass along a message, SHUT UP. If by some insane weird medical freakshow I am carrying 2, I'll only be giving birth to one the other will just stay inside FOREVER!

Off to a home inspection where I'll probably be sweating (what asshole decided to call that glowing?!?!) WAAAAAY before anyone else.