I'll see your "sick and tired" and a raise you a "sick and pregnant"

Here I wander the earth sweaty, boobs swollen, broken out like a 14 year old who now has a weird version of a baby bump/beer belly thing happening. Not cute that people want to touch it but jiggly and odd that causes 99% of people I know to question is she pregnant or just drinking her way through this recession. When WHAM-O, here comes a damn summer cold immediately followed by a sinus infection from HELL! So, what's a jiggly pregnant gal to do? Well, I'll tell ya. NOT A HELLUVA LOT! As I'm sucking on my 47th Halls menthol lozenge, I happen to think "Hey, I can have these right?!?!". What did pregnant women do without google? I'll tell you what they probably got to finish that 47th cough lozenge. Not me, as I read that "menthol can cause contractions". FRICK! FRICK! FRICK!

Next up the neti pot. Looks cute. Shaped like a geni's bottle and very fung shuiish. How hard can it be? Pour salt water into one nostril it will magically come out of 2nd nostril and in just an unlimited amount of sessions I'll be cured. All you have to do is breath in out and from your mouth and pour! The first 2 days was great. It was cool to see pour water in one nostril and have it come out the other one. Really neat. No real change in my misery but neat none the less.

Than day 3 when the real sinus infection kicks in. At the sink, head tilted, pot in nostril, pouring perfectly.....nothing coming out the other nostril. So I tilt my head a little further maybe needing some more gravity I think. And then BAM I'm drowning. FRICKIN' drowning as the water gushes down my throat (where I'm breathing from 'member?). Not to be gross but not just salt water, nasty nose (sick nose) salt water. Not only am I drowning but now my unborn child is having to drink my nasty booger salt water. Needless to say, I end up hacking until I'm crying and then just crying 'cause I can't breath...which increases my mucus production closing off any air hole that did exist in the damn nostrils. Michael stands behind me just saying he's sorry. He's getting used to saying that A LOT. Even when he has nothing to be sorry for, good man.

Needless to say, neti-pot has been stored deep in the back of the kitchen sink banished forever. I have broken down and begun taking Sudafed...before you all FREAK out and email me that I can't have that, it's the regular kind and yes I can! Called my doctor 2x to confirm. Sweet relief.

Lastly something funny happened. Michael and I were laying in bed and I had just snuggled down up against my body pillow when I felt a weird flutter inside my stomach. A freakin' flutter inside my stomach. I kind of spazzed when it happen. Quickly rolling away. Staring at the ceiling, I exclaimed "holy shit, something just happened." Michael just stares at me. Then I wait. With big eyes, hardly breathing, kind of like you do when you wake in the middle of the night and think you heard something. But then......nothing. Was it indigestion? Am I about to toot? Burp? Sneeze? Nothing. So, I guess that was my first feeling something.

INfrickinSANE! Brace yourselves beatches, it looks like we're having baby.