Tankinis, and Fishin'!

I finally got my swollen, sweaty, pimply butt out of the house and onto our boat. A morning of fishing..and yes, mother, Michael drove the boat slow, what could be more fun?!?!? I squeezed into my tankini (that I actually already owned b/c at some point I thought I had a big stomach--bahahahah if the old me could see the preggo me!) and off we go.

I totally lubed up ('cause I've been told preggers burn faster than the non-carriers out there). 5o on my face and all we had was 15 so I put it on 2x to make a 30. We get to the spot and start the fishing. Well, the fish catching was out of control. EVERY cast we were catching fish. Several things I hadn't considered. Apparently I used my stomach as a great place to set the fishing pole so I had to hold it under my arm. Sounds fine until you have to jerk the pole and then I basically knock myself in the left boob EVERY SINGLE TIME. Also, we use live bait. Shrimp to be exact. Now, I've always had a soft spot for the animals of the world (we're a catch and release family) but I never considered the live shrimp. Until now. Every time I lean down to pick out a shrimp I think of the poor shrimp mom and dad, nieces, nephews and other shrimp family members desperately cowering in the corner of the live well as one of their own gets plucked from his world. I sucked it up and fished but it was a little sad. I tried to only use the REALLY big shrimp 'cause I'm thinking they've had a pretty good run of it.

What was supposed to be a day of boating turned into 3 hours. Not sure what happened but I went from normal to defcon 4 in like 15 minutes. We were cruising along and BAM starvation smacked me square in the ass. That followed up in under 2 minutes with a feeling of "holy shit it's hot". When did it get this damn hot? My skin is going to burst into flame. Damn it's really freakin' hot. I can't take it. It's too damn hot. Poor Michael, was the only other living being on the boat (besides the shrimp) and he once again had that deer in headlights look followed up with giving me a bag of sun chips and silence.

A nice cold shower was perfect. While toweling off I notice that apparently my tankini wasn't fully covering my rapidly expanding abdominal area and I have a real country come to town burn line running right under my belly button for about an inch. If the redneck yacht club is looking for a new president I think I may the overwhelming favorite...and that's not even sharing my latest hair growth/home wax experiment with you.

That's a pretty comical experiment. It all started with...oh hell no time for that now. Gotta get going on the bio oil/night time regime/war against stretchmarks.
Later!